Opening Night Jitters

So...last night was the first night of our show Sorry Wrong Number...and overall it went well. The crowd was a little bare but it was still cool. It's always a neat experience to entertain people. I won't say that there weren't any hiccups or mess-ups last night (because there were) but live and learn and get better. Can't keep dwelling on it or you'll keep messing up. I kinda wish my fam and friends were there cuz it's hard not having supporters for something that you do...and there was like a meet and greet portion right after the show which was kinda awkward but kinda cool too. But my friends will here on Sunday so it'll be cool. You guys should come too...I'd love to see ya!

Only bad part about it is that I had to miss class yesterday (you know how I feel about commitments and me taking my work seriously) and feel like I really missed a lot yesterday. There's nothing I can do about it now but move on...but I still think about it. NO MORE MISSING CLASS!! I feel like a slacker and I'm in catch-up mode. Whatever.


Oh and ALSO..UGH...NYC has another strike against it. First strike is the winter...sorry but really cold weather sucks unless you're on vacation. And the second strike is NOT HAVING A WASHER/DRYER IN YOUR APARTMENT!! That by far is something that I simply cannot get used to. Call my stuck-up, spoiled, whatever! But carrying clothes to the laundromat is annoying, purely and simply.



Things I learned last Tuesday from washing clothes:



1. Always check the weather report BEFORE you start your loads. It was NOT fun bringing clean clothes back to my apt with an umbrella around them and me.


2. It costs about $20 to do all my clothes (I wait awhile to do it so I have huge piles) I didn't know this before.


3. I can just take out what I need in little Ziploc baggies in stead of carrying the WHOLE BOX OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT BACK AND FORTH! That made my life a little bit easier.


4. NO. I do NOT want your help dirty nasty man with my laundry. Clean or dirty I don't' want you to touch it. Please don't try and hit on a person when they're sweating hauling laundry back and forth...that can get you cussed out. I'm just sayin. And also, I just don't like people to touch my dirty clothes or move them from the wash to the dryer...it seems so personal to me.


5. I just don't like it. I just don't. I want a place with the machines in it. (gonna add that to the vision board)



That's about it for now.

Oh! Craziest thing happened to me today (disclaimer...my older sis sent me a book excerpt from a new book she's gonna send me called When God Winks at You which I loved and it talks about coincidences-which I don't believe in-and how those are really winks from God that he's showing you he's thinking of you and it's gonna be ok) and so I've been more open to recognizing and appreciating my God winks. And I got another one today! I was standing in the middle of Manhattan -34th and 8th-and a lady walked by and said "You were great last night" I immediately said thank you and smiled. I believe that that was God's way of telling me that I'm on the right track..I'm doing what he wants me to do, and I'm where I'm supposed to be. Maybe I was supposed to miss class last night and it's gonna be ok. In the busy city in the world (ok maybe not) a random person walks by (there were only like 5 people in the theater last night for real) and she sees me? Coincidence? I think not. I was grateful. And the funny part about it is that I received a godwink right after Joy passed and didn't even know it. But I recognize it now...and again, I'm grateful.

I guess that wasn't all for then...but really...that's all for now.

Happy Thursday

In honor of father's day 2010...

I dedicate this video to the first man I ever loved and taught me how to love. He's an inspiration and gives me wings to fly.

I love you very much daddy...

Happy Father's Day Daddy

Leaving class

Tonight was the second class of the intensive. And I leave the studio
excited, nervous, and a little confused.

Excited-I think I realy did a good job. And I think that's a good
thing for me to be able to admit. I can admit when I suck. I'm
learning to admit when I do something good. And tonight I did. My
partner and I went last. An what's funny is that during rehearsal I
thought he was overacting and not telling the truth and that our group
wasn't gonna b that great. But after my teacher told him the same
thing, he was incredible! I was so proud to be his partner. Like for
real. It was a treat for me to experience and I was there with him! It
was like he and I were the only two (aside from our teacher screaming
at us) in the room. I want that feeling again. And soon.

Nervous-was tonight a fluke? Or do I kinda have some skill? Will I be
able to do as good of a job next time we go up? I think a lot had to
do with the kind of day I had. It was awesome and it started this
morning, on a stage, rehearsing. I may have found something here.

Confused-(pause) I think this guy just had a complete conversation w
me on the train. But it was all n his head and mumbles. Weird. And
then when he got off he tapped the window where I was sitting. Weird-
er. (end pause) confused because I think I just got in trouble by my
teacher cuz I have to miss class on Wednesday. He was like that's a
problem cuz u accepted the show after I had committed to class. I
kinda feel like he's calling me out for not being committed which I so
am! Like 1000% to this program, the rehearsal program, and my partner.
And in the rule books that is one of the only way u can miss class is
by doing professional work. I'm kinda hurt, cuz I hate getting n
trouble, insulted, cuz I love learning and always strive to be a good
student, and mad that he doesn't understand that I am working and
doing the best I can. Like get off my back already.

Disclaimer tho he's such a good teacher. It's like sickening to watch.

Alas. It's bday weekend time. Gotta put on yet another cape (cuz I'm
superwoman and like to change up my capes)

All for now

Sent from my iPhone

My future husband is...

Working hard. Right now. Prepping for our fourth of July vacation.
Just saying. It's a pretty day. I was thinking about him. Wanted to
share.

Also may I just say that today is an incredible day. Started off with
a cool email about a new project I will start in August...tell u about
it later.

And then! I got to see my newest favorite photgrapher friend Audrey.
In the heart of Manhattan, Times Square to be exact. And she gave me
my newest pix. I'll let ya see some soon.

Now I'm out shopping for friends bday gifts and my sending my dad's
father's day gift! I hope it gets there in time! Ugh! Bad daughter!

Anywho. Did I mention the weather is nice? Well it is. I was tempted
to say it's so hot. But then I changed it to "it's so beautiful
outside today". Keeping the positivity flowing.

And I always get an energy when I'm walking down 5th avenue in the
city. It just makes me really happy. And shopping in Saks does the
same thing. Just sayin.

Happy Friday!

Sent from my iPhone

Back to Basics...Living Truthfully Under Imaginary Circumstances

So last night I had my first day of school. Like for real, very first day all over again. No I'm not leaning to be a brain surgeon, but this is my career, acting is what I want to do with my life...so I'm taking the time, making the investment to go back to school. I'm not going full-time which I kinda wish I was able to do (be a real college kid again) but I'm a grown -up and have responsibilities (and face it I have bills and I like to shop) so part-time is the way to go. It's going to be a long, hard, expensive journey...not as expensive as Sewanee...but it will all pay off. For right now, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights are out for me...don't call, I won't answer. Don't drop by..I won't be home. And on the evenings where I'm not in class, I have to be doing my homework...aka rehearsing with my scene partner. They call it an intensive and that is what it is, intensively taking away all my time. So respect it and understand it.

Key notes from class:

~Good actors really do and don't pretend, bad actors indicate (pretend to have a feeling)

~Hard to do something to the audience that you don't really feel

~Class is a laboratory...ur not here to get it right, ur here to learn

~It takes time to produce something-right ingredients, right care, and time

~Seed, soil, water, space, sun, and time-same ingredients needed to grow a head of cabbage and a mighty oak tree.

Last night was fun. It was informative and I met some of my classmates. But literally it was like the first day of school. No one knew each other, you were concerned about what to wear if anyone would like you (well maybe that's just me...idk) and our main goal of the evening was listening and responding. But really focusing on not pretending but really doing. Really listening, really responding. Which I don't' think many people do anymore.

I've always been a good listener, people usually like to talk to me because I do just that. But here's the problem...when I listen I don't talk. So people always question am I there, am I really listening. YES! I want to scream (but I don't', that would be rude) You listen with your ears not your mouth. I don't' have to talk until you're done...I will express myself, believe me I will...but u go ahead and say whatever it is that you need to say...I am listening. When did listening become who can talk the loudest or which person has to be right? No thanks...I'd rather go listen to someone else then who appreciates my listening skills.

Anywho...as you know I've read The Secret...but I've recently started reading Happiness Is...by Pastor AR Bernard and each week ur supposed to read a chapter and reflect on it. Best way to keep me doing that is for you to keep me in line. So this week was the intro and the first chapter. Key notes: Well better yet...here's the link where you can buy it and/or read an excerpt from the chapters.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Happiness-Is/A-R-Bernard/e/9781416549406#EXC

Happiness is....

Accepting God's Abundance

I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

-- John 10:10 NKJV

God offers us abundance, but He doesn't force it upon us. He promises that we "might have life" and that we "might have it more abundantly." And how, precisely can we claim that abundance? By obeying God and following His Son, that's how!

When we commit our hearts, our days, and our work to the One who created us, we experience spiritual abundance. But when we focus our thoughts and energies, not upon God's will for our lives, but instead upon our own unending assortments of earthly needs and desires, we inevitably forfeit the spiritual abundance that might otherwise be ours. Today and every day, seek God's will for your life and follow it.

Today, turn your worries and your concerns over to your Heavenly Father. Today, seek God's wisdom, follow His commandments, trust His judgment, and honor His Son. And while you're at it, get rid of that critical voice inside your head -- the little voice that tells you you're never quite good enough. When you do these things, you'll receive God's abundance...and you'll be happy.Great Ideas About Abundance

God loves you and wants you to experience peace and life -- abundant and eternal.
-- Billy Graham

We honor God by asking for great things when they are a part of His promise. We dishonor Him and cheat ourselves when we ask for molehills where He has promised mountains.
-- Vance Havner

Greatness occurs when your children love you, when your critics respect you, and when you have peace of mind.

-- Quincy Jones

God is the giver and we are the receivers; and it is not to those who do great things, but to those who "receive abundance of grace, and of the gift of righteousness," that richest promises are made.
-- Hannah Whitall Smith

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.
-- Oprah Winfrey

More from God's Word

And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.
-- 2 Corinthians 9:8 NLT

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
-- Matthew 7:7-8 NIVA

Simple Step

Abundance and obedience go hand in hand. Obey God first and expect to receive His abundance second, not vice versa.

I figured some of y'all wouldn't follow the link so I just copied and pasted it from Amazon HA!

Lastly, I leave you with this (for right now)

Your life story is being written one day at a time...with God's help, that story can-and will-be a masterpiece.

You think that's dope huh? Ha! I didn't write it! It's from the book!! Go get it!!

Happy Thursday :)

Great quote!

I just read the greatest quote.

"Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity."
-Will Smith

Um...didn't I just say that? like a post ago? Good point Will...good point.

My life's work...

I found this song by accident. My little sister is very controlling over her car radio and sometimes she forces you to listen to things that you may not want to listen to out of spite. Needless to say, on this occasion I was happy that she chose to do just that. Many times we forget or choose not to remember why we do the things we do and why we live the life we live.

I try and listen to this song to start my day. It's very simple. Very catchy and extremely important to remember.

Make me Invisible. It's not about me. You've given me this stage to introduce you.

The lyrics are below.

...A total eclipse has just begun.

We blocked out the Son.

Can't be live this is what we've come to.

So you think that you're a star?

But the real star has some scars.

On His hands and feet where the nails went through.

God is headlining this show.

To introduce Him's what I'm here for.

So without further delay...

It's time to take to the stage!! And I'll move out the way.

So that they only see, You that's inside of me!!

Don't let me block the view. That's not what I wanna do.

I gotta be seen through. Make sure they're seenin' You.

Make me invisible.

The crowd applauds, and now you're on.

They start to play your song.

But did He even come along? Or did He get left behind?

The day that you decided, that you would outshine His light?

But He's headlining this show.

To introduce Him's what I'm here for.

So without further delay... It's time to take to the stage.

And I'll move out the way.

So that they only see, YOU that's inside of ME.

Don't let me block the view.

That's not what I wanna do.

I've wanna be seen through.

Make sure they're seeing YOU.

Make me invisible... Make me invisible.

Happy Tuesday!