Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Battle for My Mind


Emotions Check
Unacceptable behavior. I remember a message that I watched by Joyce Meyers that I probably need to revisit. It was about being emotionally stable. Or not.

And as of late. That hasn't been me.

Which is sad because I tend to pride myself on that. Not acting or making decisions based off the swing of some arbitrary feeling that I'm having that day. But today and this last week hasn't been that. I'd like to publicly (cuz I made my actions publicly) apologize for things that I've said and done this week based on how I've felt. Cuz I've said some things, sent some emails, text, and tweets that are BEYOND unacceptable.

I'm a very direct person, sometimes to a fault, but what I'm learning (and I learn daily) is that in the name of "keeping it real" I make it ok for the other person to be my dumping ground for everything they've ever done wrong. Like I'm faultless myself smh.

I'm always, always coming from a place of love and respect, but sometimes I can just drone on and on (kind of like a blog entry) about how I feel and what I want and blah blah. My sister pointed out that I can just make my point in one or two sentences versus painting an entire ceiling in order to get my point across.

So that's what I'll start to do.

And the sad part about it is that nothing is wrong with me! Things couldn't be better, I'm just allowing my mind to be the enemy's playground. I've moved to an awesome new apartment, with an awesome new roommate. (Remember the freak out of entries past?) I have a really cool job with great new people (more on that later).

Lenore & Fitz #SCANDAL
I haven't been to church in months because I've been on tour traveling so much. And I know for a fact that being around other saints and believers builds me up. I also haven't seen my family/friends in so long because of the same busyness.

So unfortunately, this will be the last that you'll hear from in for awhile. I believe it's time I take a much needed hiatus from all my social media sites. It's becoming like an idol. It's the first thing I check in the morning and probably the last thing I check at night. I've even gotten so bad to the fact that I'm signed into some of my friends pages just so I can check up on certain people. Now that's just ridiculous! (side note: please don't judge, I know that it's a mistake, I'm sure I"m not the only one and I probably shouldn't have said it but I promised to be honest with ya'll)

I probably need a hug, my mama, a cleansing cry and to watch Cece Winan's "Throne Room" #HoldMeKingJesus

But let's be honest, I don't know how long I can stay away, so I'm giving myself a deadline of my birthday before I can reactivate.

I'm sorry but guys it's for my mental sanity!

Auuuugggghhh!!! It's happening. I'd like to announce for the very first time that I'm starting my own company called:

Coerlessly, Ink

It'll be my production/writing company and I couldn't be more thrilled! Walking in my destiny. I'll post the logo when it's completely finished. BUT I've seen the first draft and IT'S DOPE!! Special thanks to my team for making it all come true. James and Michele, you make my heart smile. And an even bigger thanks to my supportive and loving I'm blessed.

Speaking of taking over the industry! Spikes is moving forward. That's my amazing TV series that I've written. We got our first sponsorship the other day so you know I was doing my shout dance! It just reminds me that people actually do believe in my dream and want to support it. My team is getting stronger everyday! So if I get fit and strong on ya'll you'll know why! Gotta get "Spikes Sexy" #Welcome2Camden

Check out my new gear from The Last Kings Collection.

Can't I keep just one for me?

Plus TONS of other stuff..I'm in awe at the favor
The hardest part about moving forward into unknown territory is fear. Fear that you're doing it wrong. Fear that it won't work out right or that you're just not good enough. Shoot, fear that you won't have enough money to cover everything that you want to do.

That's definitely what I've been struggling with lately. How to balance equal parts what I want and what's in my gut with that others have to say about it. And I know you're probably thinking: "But Lenore, shouldn't you NOT care what others have to say?"

Shawty needs them ends trimmed!
True enough just can't help it sometimes. And it does effect me. Especially with my creativity. And especially when I'm walking into unfamiliar circumstances. So pray for me guys. Pray that I will seek Godly counsel and that I'm fearless enough to walk in confidence into a network office and sign a major deal for my show! (Gotta dream big right?!)


Hopeless Romantic
So I know we talked about how I haven't blogged in forever (side note: I'm in a hotel and my CPU is actually working so don't judge my life) So I just wanted to remind you all of holiday cheer and hopefully some happy times in your life with loved ones. I know I had a blast!! It's so cool to see the world thru my niece's eyes!

Valentine's Day was also amazing this year and not because of anything extremely out of the ordinary but because of the little things God did to remind me of his love. At the end of it all, I remember sitting in my hotel room surrounded by flowers, chocolates and champagne...all from people I didn't even know. It was kind of surreal.

So I just want to say thank you to the one that loves me most, my heavenly Father and everyone on earth that loves me fiercely. I feel your love, I promise.

I'm such a hopeless romantic.

Our mantle at mom's house...starting to fill up with all the additions to the fam

Baby girl got some Uggs for did her auntie :)

Janelle was my Valentine! LOL

Thank you sorry we never met!

Over the holidays my loving younger sister performed again with Terrell Walker's True Warriors at an album release party in my hometown of Carrollton, GA. And I mean...first of all, she looked amazing...compliments of her loving big sister letting her play in my makeup. But also they're really talented.
I love to see people passionate and excited to do what they love. Be sure to pick up a copy of their cd when it's available (aka...I KNOW I'd better get mine soon, cuz I've been a groupie of the group for YEARS now!)
Two Sangas!

Praise Him on the good foot!
I'm with the band
For New Year's Eve this year, I celebrated a little differently. I went back to how I originally, growing up, used to bring in the new year. In church.

It felt really good to be doing it again, and we even went out to see the Peach Drop, which I'd never done before and had a great meal at the best restaurant ever...WAFFLE HOUSE! Act like you know.

2013 we're takin OVA

Through it all, you've been there with me


Little Miss AJ is just growing and growing...and I love it SOOOO much. It's hard cuz I'm not there with her everyday like both my sisters are but I love to see pictures, videos, and FaceTime with my angel.

Can you guys believe that she'll be 1 this month?!?!?! So yes, we're planning her party and yes her auntie will be there will bells on! Hopefully I can steal a few shots for you guys of the princess.


What have I been doing the past few months you may be wondering? Why have I seen so much of this lovely country? Because I'm on tour with the autoshow. And it's been pretty fun lately. Remember...I went to training in Detroit, etc, etc and now I'm out on the road, living the dream.
Well, not really. But I'm having a great time and catching up with people I haven't seen/would not have seen in a million years and that experience makes it all worth it. Plus the money I'm saving is going straight into my project this summer so that's an added bonus.

So far, Portland, OR has been my favorite city and I hope to visit there again in the near future. I think I'm just a fan of that part of the country.


One of the highlights! 
Skyline cuties :)
I thought I missed Mardi Gras...

Apparently it came to visit Milwaukee 
De-Icing planes?! #ICan't 

She always seems to take us to the most interesting of places.
Robbi & Lenni 
Oldest car I've ever seen in my life!
Yep, older than my daddy! 
Travel is really fun until it's not fun anymore. Travel days can be some of the most stressful and frustrating days on the road because they can change at the drop of a dime and it's completely out of your control.

5:30am flights, missed connections, airport food, etc. these have been all the things I've managed to complain about (not to mention my hair looks DISASTEROUS because I'm doing it myself) instead of focusing on the goodness of God and all that he's provided me with. Complimentary upgrades, safe travel, grace and mercy, etc. All those things that fly out the window as soon as someone says delay. *Cue praise and worship music.

More surprises in Miami!! 

Finally ready 
The least I think. 

You know we had to give em a bathroom pic :)

So far I've been to:
Miami (Liv, The Weekend album release stand out most to me :)
Fort Worth: cool city, great people!
Greenville: reminded me a lot of home
Detroit (NOT my favorite city in the world. The temperature was 7 degrees. Literally, 7)
Portland: Fan Fave, karaoke spot
Providence: not much happening there
Washington DC: cool city, got to spend time with some more of my favorite people
Syracuse: cold, just...cold
Milwaukee: snow storm, Jesus be a heating blanket

And currently I'm sitting in Oklahoma City, drinking tea and feeling fine :)
Atlanta and NYC are up next. So if you see me in your city, HOLLA!

Pretty cool history in Ft Worth 
No words 

So yes, tour is taking over my life and making me feel all types of ways, but I'm still working on completing my screenwriting certificate. I have no idea how this is gonna happen. The semester has started off a little rocky as I missed the second assignment completely, like I guess I just didn't do it. But I'm always one to finish what I've started and I'm learning so much, I just have to continue. Don't let me off the hook guys! Don't!

I've come up with some great story ideas for future films and I just love to write (clearly, this entry is like 17 pages long)

Cap't Crunch Donut

Largest Bookstore in the World

Felt like Belle from Beauty & The Beast
It could happen at any time! Go to Karaoke song.
Kendra...oh Kendra
More donuts to GET YO LIFE!!
Voodoo've changed my life, sincerely


Game Changer

I love this picture so...speaks volumes to me
If you've ever met me, read about me, looked thru a picture on IG, Twitter, or FB (see, entirely too much) then you know how much I sincerely love DC3 and Beyonce. 

Say what you want but these albums have gotten me through some very tough times and been my anthem through it all. So I was very please to be introduced this year into what I've been calling THE YEAR OF BEYONCE!

Let's face it. Inauguration, Superbowl, Destiny's Child new album, Grammy's, Oprah Special, HBO documentary, countless magazine covers (GQ and Vogue to be more specific) and announcing that she's going on tour this year while dropping an album is pretty much amazing.

And she does it all as a wife and a mom.

You know how I feel about the notion that women can have it all, so let's just say Bey...we applaud you.

Now somebody buy me some tickets to her concert!!!! Please :)

Side Note: I WILL be attending my first ever Essence Music Festival in New Orleans this summer to see her perform. I might even get a blonde weave to commemorate the moment. 

So this year has started off with a bang...I kept my word and got new headshots!! Woohooo!!

Finally after years of putting it off, I've registered, scheduled and taken, and paid for new ones. I'll post them once they're back!

I also had a beauty shoot with Tyler Johnson in NY and Ivory Lawrence in DC. Both are great and I had such fun on set with these gentlemen. My "twin" Diamandi and I finally took our twin shoot and got some great commercial looks while working the autoshow in DC. If I'm a multi-tasker, she's like the ULTIMATE!
Peep the photos below and click their names for links to their pages.

Oh and I also shot a tanning commercial, no seriously, I had a spray tan, it was kinda cool. ad I'm in was featured in Architecture's Digest. How cool is that?

I need to get back to auditioning, but I"m never in the city so that's kind of hard. In due time though I guess.

My twin

D & Ivory

Finished Product

Guess I have to wait my turn

A little dark for me I think
And lastly I leave you with a treat!
My first short film EVER that I did upon moving to New York is finally available online for all your viewing pleasure.
Pour Amour, Encore

I do hope you watch, rewatch, tell a friend to watch and let me know your thoughts.
I love you all very much. I aim to make you proud.

Go chase your dream!

da book