Not remembering your death, but celebrating your life

So, not intentionally, but kinda cool. I choose to write a post today. Today, 3 years ago, Joy was taken from us. And this past weekend, on what would have been her 5th Class Reunion from Sewanee, a lot of her classmates, professors and friends gathered on the domain to pay our respects and leave a memorial for her.

We planted a tree.

For those that never met Joy..it's actually pretty cool. She was a natural resources major (trees) and loved nature (trees) and recycling (trees) and the environment (more trees).

I think it was a really beautiful Sunday morning on the mountain and the most beautiful part, to me at least, was that people that haven't seen each other, spoken to each other, or even thought about each other in years, were together for one moment in time, to express their love for Joy. 

Just wanted to give a BIG thank you to everyone that funded this memorial, that attended, or that tried to make it. Special thanks to the Owens family, Eric Benjamin, Paula Whisenant, GSPST, and the lovely Barbara Banks. Thanks to the men and women that helped organize this event...I'm sure Joy is so proud of all of us coming together.

Speaking of Sewanee, it was great. I mean absolutely incredible. I have to admit I had a little (lot) of anxiety returning to the mountain after being away for so long, but I loved it. So much fun to see my family, friends, my classmates and meet the next generations of leaders on campus. Hard to believe that time came and went so quickly, and sometimes even harder to say goodbye to relationships, the people you met and the person that you were.  I believe I've grown as a person, but the coolest thing to see was people that you practically grew up with have grown just as much as you, if not more.

The Next Generation

Some things never change

Ellie and Ari reunited again!

The Bruhs

And now...we dance

I loved meeting all my new little sisters and just reconnecting with that side of me. It's been awhile since I've seen that side in such a loooong time.

Detroit
So I went to the Motor City...didn't see much or get to do much, spent most of time in the hotel, walked on the pier for a little though. Finally got through training, which was overwhelming to say the least, and I'm off for Miami on Friday.

But Lenore, don't you have to move out of your apartment? Yes.

But Lenore, have you found another yet? No

But Lenore, weren't you supposed to go apt hunting when you got back to the city this past week? Well, yes, but...there was a hurricane that hit the northeast, her name was Sandy, and from what I heard, she was nothing to play with. But since Sandy hit, I was forced to stay in North Carolina....with my beautiful niece no less (oh the horror) and postpone, briefly, my move. But since I'm back, I should really buckle down and focus. Which we all know is no small feat.

Feeling kind of alone since I've been back, and I know it's only been a couple of hours, ok a day, but I dunno, leaving Sewanee, my family, my childhood (I mean let's face it, I was a baby in college) has just hit me more being back in my apartment, than I thought it actually would affect me.

I'm just tired of crying and being sad. I mean, I know it's been 3 years since the move and since Joy passed and all these changes have been happening, most good, some not so good. But I think I'm just tired of being emotionally effected by it all. Sometimes I just don't want to feel. And truthfully, before the move and before it all, I didn't. I was an emotional rock. No tears (they were a sign of weakness) no feeling lonely (I was always with someone) no nothing.

And perhaps that wasn't the best way to live, no reacting to anything, but it's what worked for me.

And now...

Now, when I feel an emotion, one that I would prefer avoiding, I feel guilty about it because I have an amazing support system, both here in NY and all over for that matter, that I could reach out to or answer the phone when they call (sorry about that guys) and I just don't. It's in those times that I'm harshly reminded that the people I'd love to turn to either can't, won't, or are simply gone. And that's a bitter pill to swallow. But I should reach out, and I know it, but instead I just cover it all up by busying myself and 'moving forward'.

And honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing all this. I just promised you I'd be honest. And open. And that's hard. But here it is.

MADENYC
But enough about that dreaded "f" word...feelings, ok.

It's finally here! Episode one of the competition reality show. Click HERE for the site, behind the scenes photos, cast photos, etc. I'm not gonna tell you which team to vote for, but if you're reading my blog...you know how this goes :) May the best competitor win.


Preview of my new shots by Eli Hue of Hanser & Hue Photography

Da' Youngfellaz Video
Remember when we talked about me being a video girl? Well here's the finished video...kinda cool. I like it a lot.



Their single is available on itunes and feel free to follow them @dayoungfellaz on twitter.

Oh, and I read an awesome quote today which really felt fitting for what this post is about:

Just a country girl w a dream

"I believe that friends are the quiet angels who sit on our shoulders and lift our wings when we forget how to fly."

All my love Joy...can't wait to see you again.

XOXO,
Lenore
'book
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Good, Bad, & Indifferent

So I promised myself, and you, that I would be completely honest and open with my journey. Share the highs and the lows with you. And it comes with no surprise to me (I mean how ironic) that after expressing how much faith I have and all the blessings that I've been receiving that I would receive a test.

Now, I'm a natural multi-tasking, ball-juggling, last minute kind of girl...but geez Louise, at some point, I wish something was stable!

So I gave my two weeks notice, and then the Yankees lose so...I find myself unemployed (not really, just haven't started the new job yet) and without a home. Well, technically I still have somewhere to lay my head, but yet again, I have to move. And you KNOW how much I hate moving. I think the most frustrating part about moving is the search, and the rejection, followed by the schlepping. NY has given me a hatred for schlepping! But since the first unexpected time I had to move, I've learned a lot...credit's still not that great (I don't use it much and I've never fixed it from before) BUT I learned the value of having a little safety net in cash to move with. (Thanks in part to my daddy and Dave Ramsey- daddy's been saying it for years DR put it into baby steps) so I'm good on that part. Now I've just got to find a place.

Which wouldn't be so bad, except, I'm leaving today. For Detroit (woohoo Motor City-someone remind me to take pictures and send myself a postcard) and don't have time to continue my search. But God has never let me down before and I know (He must) have an ace in the hole he's willing to play. I've never been homeless before and I don't intend on starting now. It's just a little scary.

So that's my honesty...on my journey to my destiny...I face the uncertainty, many times, of where I'm gonna sleep. (Dear Lord, I never want to say on my E! True Hollywood Story that I had to sleep in my car...I don't even have a car!!)

Mom suggests I come back home, I counter with wanting to throw my stuff in storage and be a nomad, traveling all over the world (she wasn't too happy about that one :) Coming home feels like failure to me, I haven't yet accomplished what I've set off to do. Granted, a couple of months without paying any rent would be incredible...but I haven't lived at home since I was 18 years old, not even summers during college, so I'm not too sure how that would work. I'm used to/love my independence, just wish I could give it away sometimes.

Side Note: I'm not even remotely packed and my flight leaves in 6 hours. That's how much I hate packing and moving.

Me and JJB about to test drive some cars

Chevy
This past weekend was my initiation into the world of comics. Friends and I worked NY Comic Con and let consumers test drive Chevy's new line up. From the Volt, to Camaros, (yes the Transformer's BumbleBee edition), a convertible Corvette and so much more. Kinda made me want a car again, until I had to fill one up. "No thanks"

Just saying...it's pretty hard to NOT look good driving this car

Little Red Corvette

No thanks on fuel economy tho.

October
This month, has actually become one of my favorite times of year. There's football, and fall colors and clothes, the NFL wears pink for Breast Cancer awareness and lots of my loved ones celebrated birthdays in the month of October...here's a pic of one of my all-time favorite gents JAMIL AC MANGAN

The Birthday Boy...ahem Man

Homecoming
Also during this time of year is the pretty much every school's HC. And for the first time in a very long time, I'm headed back to Sewanee...my alma mater. And it's honestly bittersweet. I think it's more bitter than sweet now, but sometimes you just have to suck it up. Sewanee was good to me, extremely good, I learned a lot- about myself, about the world, and I made some of the most amazing relationships that I still have to this day, well some of them. And I think that's what's the saddest. The domain stays the same, and the memories last forever, but the people and the intensity of certain relationships have lost their intensities or died down completely.

I'm nervous, anxious, excited, and filled with dread all at the same time. I'm usually known for my positivity and being an up-beat persona, but when I think about next weekend, my stomach does flip flops.

We're honoring Joy and the legacy she left there, in what I think will be a beautiful tribute to her life Sunday morning. But I can't help the longing I feel and the sadness that's in the pit of my stomach when I think about how she won't be there. So much has changed post-Sewanee, too much if you ask me, but that's life I guess. Real life outside of the bubble that we lived in for 4 years. Most of it's good, some of it's bad. I'll just make sure I have a box of Kleenex handy.

Another Side Note:

I saw this picture the other day and it really moved me. Idk who's photo it is, but it just reminded me of the kind of mom I see myself as. Super fly...off doing my thing (cuz clearly that's an awesome color lipstick on her and she wouldn't just wear it around the house) and come home to rock my baby sleep on my chest. Isn't that just the purest form of love :) Maybe it means nothing to you....but to me it represents having it all. Work. Life. Balance.

Growth
I'm always looking to become a better person and to grow (and help others grow) into better versions of themselves. And this week's task is on the 2 areas of life that most people can constantly evolve and get better in. Love and Money :)

Currently reading Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages" and my boo Dave Ramsey's "Complete Guide to Money" Seems like a great combo to me! Who doesn't want deeper, more meaningful relationship, and to be wealthy?! Sign me up!

Cute little story about the day before I left my survival (one of) Guess who walked in the restaurant!!!!!
PUFF DADDY!! P. Diddy! Diddy! Swag! Whatever you want to call him.  It was him. He had, well the guy (net worth $150 million) he was meeting had a reservation and I think they were conducting business. It was kind of a surreal experience...cuz you know I get weird and awkward around celebrities and the words don't form right coming out of my mouth...but anyway! I say that to draw your attention back to my website's ABOUT ME section:

"When Lenoré Coer grows up she wants to be Sandra Bullock. And Diana Ross. And… Diddy.  “I just love their career trajectories. Look how Diddy reinvents himself every few years."

I'm telling you, this dreaming and believing stuff really works :)

By him just being there it made me remember that God still has a plan for me, even while I'm working a survival job and trying to figure it all out...Diddy waltzes into my world just to be the godwink that I needed. He can take me, introduce me, propel me to heights I couldn't even imagine for myself (and I have an ACTIVE imagination) so even at my lowest...He's still there in his kindness, showing me that He knows the plans he has for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. And he used Diddy to do that :) ain't it grand! LOL

Before I let you go...I must mention the love of my life Miss AJ, the most perfect 7 month old niece an auntie could ever ask for! And I get to see her next week.

AND...how much I LOVE the Hackensack High School football team. The boys are doing great this year!

Pretty much :)

Go Comets!

So what I've learned:
1. I should really pack
2. God's got my back
3. This is the stuff dreams are made of.
4. Diddy is going to be instrumental, somehow in my career :)
5. I'm off to a Different World


Love and light,

Lenore
random tweets
da' book

Faith is...

Wowsers! 2012 is almost over...and man has it flown by! So here's the latest in my world.

New York is Gross
I mean it. The other day I was attacked, yes attacked by a huge cockroach on the subway platform. I guess I've become comfortable/accustomed to seeing nasty rats in the subway but come on! A roach...that literally followed me and kept trying to crawl up my boots. It was disgusting, I looked like I was doing a praise dance my feet were moving so fast. I'm itching right now actually thinking about it. I didn't take a picture of it so don't worry.

Ari's baptism
If you follow this blog at all, you know that I'm completely obsessed with my beautiful niece, who someone commented yesterday that she was famous :) I can't help it...she's the object of my affection and she totally deserves it. Anywho, she's 6months now!! Can you believe it?!?! Time sure has been flying. She wiggles and dances and sits up and eats applesauce. Such a big girl. Below are pix of her favorite aunties and uncle.

Elie and Ari

Vying for the top auntie spot

Completely wrapped around her fingers

 In Times Like These

So this past weekend, I had the privilege of gracing the stage once again (thank goodness for not having to sing) Robin Baker's stage play "In Times Like These" the scene was "The State vs. Tiffany Miller" and I played Tiffany. I thought the scene was awesome and my scene partner Michele Woodson brought the house down with her mentally deranged interpretation of Sidra Lewis. I honestly think this scene should make the school circuit soon in an anti-cyberbullying campaign..it was that moving.

Plus, the fun part was I got to work with my NY/NJ fam again...and you know we like to party :)

I should've posted this sooner...sorry guys. Nice poster tho right?

My big sis Michele

Nick wanted to show off his badge

Getting into character...such a stretch :)

I'll always love you :)

My stage mom

@CoCampbell ended the show on a high note. Go follow him!

The lovely Ms. Diamond...don't mind the black eye, she was in character!!

Me and Gabe.

Nick and Royale on stage...FIRE!! Maybe I wasn't supposed to take this :/

New Head shots
I think I mentioned earlier that I needed to get new head shots done and ordered...well "pats self on back" done. Kind of...they've been shot, just waiting to get them back and then I'll order some :)


School
Oh guess what, 3 weeks ago...a month this Thursday, I took a leap of faith and started school again. I've always loved school/class/learning/a challenge and that's just what I've found. I always knew I wanted to go back to school but I didn't really want to go into anymore debt for a degree I didn't know that I wanted. So therefore, I believe God is guiding me to a screenwriting program at a very good school here in the city. It's pretty intense and a bit tough to juggle at times, but I love it and I'm anxious to see the path it leads to in the future. Plus my professor likes me and appreciates my feedback in class so that makes it all the better :)

Print Shoot
Another awesome shoot I had this past weekend was in the lovely city of Philadelphia.  I won't disclose too much, but I'll let you know when to pick up a magazine :)  The actors on set were awesome and the brand we represented was super cool. God has really blessed me with not only castings lately but bookings. Which has totally been amazing. I was kind of feeling neglected and forgotten for awhile until I decided to focus on what he has blessed me with and the things that I have accomplished. I've decided to create two piles of remembrance...one for auditions I've gone on and another for things I've actually shot. It'll be like my daily reminder (when I start to beat myself up/compare myself to others) of where I've come from and what I have actually done. Working on being more grateful and 'other-minded'. I think God will be pleased.

The entire cast

You know weddings (even fake ones) are my happy place

My date for the wedding :)

Just a country girl with a dream

Look who's moving to BK!

Braves Game
While home...I got to hang with the 'rents at a Braves game (sorry Yanks...forever I love Atlanta)

The Turner Field

All Day

  
Family Vacation
Labor Day has become the time of the year my lovely family and I get together and go on vacation. Big sis found a FANTASTIC house in Hilton Head, SC for us to 'abscond' (that's for you Nick) to. It was awesome. Ari loves the water, and it was nice to let my hair down for a bit. Can't wait for next year! Few pix from the getaway.

Perfect.

What love looks like

Auntie's Heart

Daddy

Sisters by blood, friends by choice

Da Youngfellaz
Speaking of my career doing some fantastic things...the end quarter of this year has been filled with shoots and shows and fantasticness. Last night I attended the release/listening rooftop party for Da Youngfellaz...it was kinda cool. I mean...seeing my face on the big screen...hopefully the first of many more!

The Fellas....Da Youngfellaz to be more exact

Video girl...kinda

 

One of those moments you can't believe are real

My face was 10 feet tall

Looking like a dork watching myself on screen :)

All of us

Dear Lenore, why are you looking into the camera? SMH

Molly's wedding
So I went home recently (yes, I go home to GA a lot- don't judge me) for auditions and baby dedications, and a very good friend of mine's wedding. It was beautiful and loving and I had so much fun. Pix to follow :) You know weddings are my happy place.

But Skyline Girls get there just the same

Love these girls

Happy place

My date

Tour
Also, also, also!! I'm the newest member of the GMC Team for this season's auto show. So look out for me in your city!! I'm completely grateful and a little surprised by this new journey in my life (and ask me how this is gonna work with me going back to school I have no idea-but I'm sure it'll work out) God is completely faithful and I love him so much for this opportunity.

So basically, I'm leaning on God much more than ever and being constantly thankful for opportunities and lessons that he's presenting to me. Faith is an ever constant in my daily life...it's become who I am. 

That's all I have for now. I'll do my best to post more regularly...but let's just be real...it gets a little hectic living life COERLESSLY :)

Love you all,

Lenore
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