Monday, October 22, 2012

Good, Bad, & Indifferent

So I promised myself, and you, that I would be completely honest and open with my journey. Share the highs and the lows with you. And it comes with no surprise to me (I mean how ironic) that after expressing how much faith I have and all the blessings that I've been receiving that I would receive a test.

Now, I'm a natural multi-tasking, ball-juggling, last minute kind of girl...but geez Louise, at some point, I wish something was stable!

So I gave my two weeks notice, and then the Yankees lose so...I find myself unemployed (not really, just haven't started the new job yet) and without a home. Well, technically I still have somewhere to lay my head, but yet again, I have to move. And you KNOW how much I hate moving. I think the most frustrating part about moving is the search, and the rejection, followed by the schlepping. NY has given me a hatred for schlepping! But since the first unexpected time I had to move, I've learned a lot...credit's still not that great (I don't use it much and I've never fixed it from before) BUT I learned the value of having a little safety net in cash to move with. (Thanks in part to my daddy and Dave Ramsey- daddy's been saying it for years DR put it into baby steps) so I'm good on that part. Now I've just got to find a place.

Which wouldn't be so bad, except, I'm leaving today. For Detroit (woohoo Motor City-someone remind me to take pictures and send myself a postcard) and don't have time to continue my search. But God has never let me down before and I know (He must) have an ace in the hole he's willing to play. I've never been homeless before and I don't intend on starting now. It's just a little scary.

So that's my honesty...on my journey to my destiny...I face the uncertainty, many times, of where I'm gonna sleep. (Dear Lord, I never want to say on my E! True Hollywood Story that I had to sleep in my car...I don't even have a car!!)

Mom suggests I come back home, I counter with wanting to throw my stuff in storage and be a nomad, traveling all over the world (she wasn't too happy about that one :) Coming home feels like failure to me, I haven't yet accomplished what I've set off to do. Granted, a couple of months without paying any rent would be incredible...but I haven't lived at home since I was 18 years old, not even summers during college, so I'm not too sure how that would work. I'm used to/love my independence, just wish I could give it away sometimes.

Side Note: I'm not even remotely packed and my flight leaves in 6 hours. That's how much I hate packing and moving.

Me and JJB about to test drive some cars
Chevy
This past weekend was my initiation into the world of comics. Friends and I worked NY Comic Con and let consumers test drive Chevy's new line up. From the Volt, to Camaros, (yes the Transformer's BumbleBee edition), a convertible Corvette and so much more. Kinda made me want a car again, until I had to fill one up. "No thanks"
Just saying...it's pretty hard to NOT look good driving this car
Little Red Corvette

No thanks on fuel economy tho.


October
This month, has actually become one of my favorite times of year. There's football, and fall colors and clothes, the NFL wears pink for Breast Cancer awareness and lots of my loved ones celebrated birthdays in the month of October...here's a pic of one of my all-time favorite gents JAMIL AC MANGAN

The Birthday Boy...ahem Man














Homecoming
Also during this time of year is the pretty much every school's HC. And for the first time in a very long time, I'm headed back to Sewanee...my alma mater. And it's honestly bittersweet. I think it's more bitter than sweet now, but sometimes you just have to suck it up. Sewanee was good to me, extremely good, I learned a lot- about myself, about the world, and I made some of the most amazing relationships that I still have to this day, well some of them. And I think that's what's the saddest. The domain stays the same, and the memories last forever, but the people and the intensity of certain relationships have lost their intensities or died down completely.

I'm nervous, anxious, excited, and filled with dread all at the same time. I'm usually known for my positivity and being an up-beat persona, but when I think about next weekend, my stomach does flip flops.

We're honoring Joy and the legacy she left there, in what I think will be a beautiful tribute to her life Sunday morning. But I can't help the longing I feel and the sadness that's in the pit of my stomach when I think about how she won't be there. So much has changed post-Sewanee, too much if you ask me, but that's life I guess. Real life outside of the bubble that we lived in for 4 years. Most of it's good, some of it's bad. I'll just make sure I have a box of Kleenex handy.

Another Side Note:

I saw this picture the other day and it really moved me. Idk who's photo it is, but it just reminded me of the kind of mom I see myself as. Super fly...off doing my thing (cuz clearly that's an awesome color lipstick on her and she wouldn't just wear it around the house) and come home to rock my baby sleep on my chest. Isn't that just the purest form of love :) Maybe it means nothing to you....but to me it represents having it all. Work. Life. Balance.

Growth
I'm always looking to become a better person and to grow (and help others grow) into better versions of themselves. And this week's task is on the 2 areas of life that most people can constantly evolve and get better in. Love and Money :)

Currently reading Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages" and my boo Dave Ramsey's "Complete Guide to Money" Seems like a great combo to me! Who doesn't want deeper, more meaningful relationship, and to be wealthy?! Sign me up!


Cute little story about the day before I left my survival (one of) Guess who walked in the restaurant!!!!!
PUFF DADDY!! P. Diddy! Diddy! Swag! Whatever you want to call him.  It was him. He had, well the guy (net worth $150 million) he was meeting had a reservation and I think they were conducting business. It was kind of a surreal experience...cuz you know I get weird and awkward around celebrities and the words don't form right coming out of my mouth...but anyway! I say that to draw your attention back to my website's ABOUT ME section:

"When LenorĂ© Coer grows up she wants to be Sandra Bullock. And Diana Ross. And… Diddy.  “I just love their career trajectories. Look how Diddy reinvents himself every few years."

I'm telling you, this dreaming and believing stuff really works :)

By him just being there it made me remember that God still has a plan for me, even while I'm working a survival job and trying to figure it all out...Diddy waltzes into my world just to be the godwink that I needed. He can take me, introduce me, propel me to heights I couldn't even imagine for myself (and I have an ACTIVE imagination) so even at my lowest...He's still there in his kindness, showing me that He knows the plans he has for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. And he used Diddy to do that :) ain't it grand! LOL

Before I let you go...I must mention the love of my life Miss AJ, the most perfect 7 month old niece an auntie could ever ask for! And I get to see her next week.

AND...how much I LOVE the Hackensack High School football team. The boys are doing great this year!

Pretty much :)
Go Comets!
So what I've learned:
1. I should really pack
2. God's got my back
3. This is the stuff dreams are made of.
4. Diddy is going to be instrumental, somehow in my career :)
5. I'm off to a Different World


Love and light,
Lenore
random tweets
da' book

1 comment:

  1. Well written, and insightful. Good luck to you in your journeys.

    ReplyDelete