Just Taking A Little Inventory

So the past couple of mornings I've been going back and reading my journal that I've been keeping solidly for about the past 3 years (Joy always encouraged me to journal-she said it'll always be there so don't feel bad about not writing in it for awhile, just start again) so that's the advice I've taken and ran with it.

Anyway, the point is...I realized...unfortunately I wasn't happy for a very long time. Well, overall, I was happy I suppose, and maybe I was only unhappy when I wrote in my journal...but there aren't the happiest of themes going on in there. There were parts- i.e. my time in Chile, my sister and friend's weddings, Obama's election, etc, that stood out as amazing times but...generally speaking I think I was merely surviving and existing day to day. UNTIL two summers ago when I came to visit NYC...and everyone knows how well that went.

Not to say that life is peachy-keen right now (cuz we know it's not) but even with all the bad stuff that's happened, and the bad days that I have...I know I'm not just surviving and existing...I'm living, like really living my life the way I want-the way that makes me happy. And with that comes happier entries and a happier existence. Of course I get sad, stressed out, scared, etc, etc, etc but I've noticed that it only lasts for a moment. I give love, I have love in my life. And to be honest. This world is full of really nice and giving people and I keep meeting them ALL!!

For real tho...there is a new printer/copier/scanner/fax machine in my apartment AND a ticket to see Kevin Hart in April on my refrigerator and they were both GIFTS!!! AND!!! I've been taught how to edit videos using Final Cut Pro and guess what I got today? My own edition so I can use it on my computer AS. A. GIFT!!!

So what am I saying? I'm really trying not to brag because it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with the goodness of God and the goodness of people. I sincerely trust and believe that everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end.

I'm saying...when you're happy (and I finally am-because I've decided to be) that things will continue to happen to bring happiness to you. At least that's what's happening in my life. You can't continue to be in situations, relationships, jobs, cities, etc that are making you miserable...honestly ask yourself...don't you deserve better? Don't you deserve to be happy? It's your life...and it's a short one...how long until you decided that you're worth it? It honestly took me about two and a half years. But I got here...and I still have a ways to go. And yes...sometimes it's hard to believe that everything is gonna be ok when I'm bawling my eyes and my stomach is twisting into unbelievable shapes. But after that moment passes, the tears stop, I have a popsicle, and someone talks me down off the ledge, I realize that I'm doing what I love. I have people in my life that love me and support me. I'm healthy. And really, it's not that bad.

I really don't know why I'm on a soap box tonight but I am. I'm just really grateful today. Thankful for the gifts, thankful for love, and thankful I paid my rent :) Anything else just really ain't that bad!

So...check out this video that I had help making by the oh-so-fabulous Emiliano Styles over at http://soulploitation.com/



AND!! It's finally here!!! The website you've been waiting for! MINE!!! It's finally finished and ready for you to send me a message!!! www.lenorecoer.com it was designed by my friend Jocelyn Leveille over at http://jocelyn2k.com/

All for now...remember to live! "The value in your life comes from your desire to live it in your own special way."