What changed?

Nope..still haven't found an apartment.
Nope...haven't become a full-time actress with international commercial ads yet.
Nope...still taking the subway to and from work and class each day.
Nope...didn't get a million dollars and all my money trouble go away yet.
Nope...haven't booked my TV show yet.

So what gives? What's new? What happened? What changed?

I did.

My situation still looks the same...facing homelessness, instability about the future, and still unsure. But my attitude! My attitude is completely different this week. Last week I was all stressed out, being mean, and just simply down in the dumps about EVERYTHING...but I realized I was so unhappy. So instead of focusing on the hole, I'll focus on the donut :)

Silly analogy but I think u get my point. I was so busy freaking out about what I didn't have and how everything was going wrong and worrying about how everything is going to fall into place that I forgot. I forgot about the things that I do have.

A job...so really Lenore, you're not broke u just need to budget better.
An amazing support of family and friends (who have all sent me apts to look at, arranged movers to help me, volunteered to come and help, etc)
And faith in God that it will all get better.

At this point I think it's all funny! Life is so crazy at times I just have to laugh. My situation really and truly isn't THAT bad. It could be 10 times worse, I could be 10 times worse off. So I've decided to have a better attitude about everything. And recognize my godwinks as they come (they've been coming lately and all I can do is smile) and laugh at my circumstances.

Like really, did he bring me this far to leave me homeless?

I sincerely doubt that. There must be a reason. There has to be something I'm supposed to get out of it.

Maybe I'm supposed to learn budgeting/saving better? I mean things like this does happen and I should be prepared. I mean if I can't handle the money I do have...how's it gonna work when you make millions doing films, etc?

Anyway, I'm a happy girl and I laugh all the time. Not to say I don't get overwhelmed at times and feel like all the walls are closing in. But even when that happens I start to count all the things I"m doing at once and laugh at how it all, idk how, but it all gets done somehow. And I do all the things well! My plate is not full. It's filled with a lot but it's not full...I bet I could squeeze a few more things on there if the need called for it (dear Jesus...I'm not asking for that, I'm just saying I could).

I'm growing. I'm maturing. I'm still looking for an apt (so if you know something, let me know) And thru it all, I'm standing and I'm smiling.

Speaking of smiling.

Yesterday I had an audition. And GUESS WHAT!!! You know those bras that can change their straps and go different ways? Well I wore one of those yesterday and I guess I was being too silly and moving around too much (I got to the audition early and kinda started dancing before it cuz I was bored and needed to loosen up...it made me laugh) ANYWAY!! They call my name for my turn and THE STRAP COMES ALOOSE!! I couldn't believe it...and there was no way to fix it cuz the hallway was filled with guys and girls that were waiting and the casting guy was looking at me to come in. Ugh!! All I could do was laugh! Talk about being free in an audition!! I was free in more ways than one :)

But they both said I gave a great read so we'll see how that turns out, I"ll keep ya posted. It was so funny! That's all I have for ya now.

Toodles.