Working on my E! True Hollywood Story

So in an effort not to tell u all my business and all the business of my roommate...let's just say I find myself unexpectedly in search of a new place to live. Like today is Sunday and I found out Friday. It's kind of a scary place to be. For a number of reasons...the biggest being the fear of the unknown.

If you know me at all you know I hate surprises...I really hate the bad ones and right now all I see is bad. I'm trying to stay positive and only focus on the good, I mean my situation could be A LOT worse...but this still sucks. I find myself in a new city, with not too many friends, with depleting funds (I mean face it, with school expenses and living in NY...I haven't been saving like I should-lesson learned) I face an uncertainty that I wouldn't have back home in the small comfort of my hometown.

Face it. I'm here. Alone. And scared. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I can only ask and believe that God will make a way. I've always heard that saying, "He may not come when you want him, but He'll be there right on time." Well a still small part of me wants to say, please oh please let this the be time His time and my time actually line up! I mean I really need a place to stay that isn't rodent infested, with the tub in the kitchen, and doesn't cost an arm and a leg!

I've always prided myself on being a positive and uplifting person and I guess that's because I've never REALLY had to go thru any hardships...I mean I didn't grow up poor and didn't have any major issues w/ family, school, jobs, etc. And to be honest this has been the toughest year of my entire life. I haven't even been in this place for a year yet and I find myself doing the very thing that I hate doing...moving. It's like your whole world is upside down when you relocate, well for me anyway. And it's not like I can call my daddy up and say hey, can you put all my stuff on the back of ur truck and move me into my new place. Who has a truck and who's gonna move me?

So I'm trying really hard not to complain because I am a believer, I do believe that it all IS going to work out somehow...somehow. I guess this is just a testing of my faith...working on my True Hollywood Story...how I made it thru. Aren't most actors struggling at some point. And what's funny is you know how u keep praying for something to happen and you're working toward it and then something that you totally didn't expect happens instead (ie...really want a tv show and instead I'm forced to move outta my apt, in case u missed it) there must be a bigger plan right? There must be a bigger picture. There has to be a grand design why I have to move right now to whichever place I'm supposed to move to. Perhaps I'm supposed to meet a particular person in my new building, perhaps on my block is going to be the writer for my new show...who knows...that's just the stuff I keep telling myself to keep from kicking and screaming in the floor saying why me Lord?

I think in the end, when I look back over my life, especially this year, I am going to see the reason why I moved to NY, see even clearer the reason why I moved apartments in less than a year and gonna laugh at myself that I ever doubted, even for a minute, myself and God's plan.

It's got to work out...there's just no other way around it.

Interestingly enough when I went apt hunting today (yeah, I'm not wasting anytime, I don't believe that an apt is just gonna fall outta the sky, I have to go looking for it and put forth an effort) I met the cutest family in a small little restaurant in Harlem, they're from southern Cali and just reminded me of my family so much, I actually hugged the mom on my way out. I gave them my card so hopefully we'll stay in touch....idk I feel like there's a reason that I met them today. Perhaps it was my godwink saying everything is gonna be ok cuz when the dad was talking he sounded just like me dad. He said every obstacle is an opportunity to grow, it builds character...if that ain't my daddy I don't know what it.

Anyway...perhaps this is my opportunity to move to BK..idk kinda makes me nervous a little. Any other borough makes me nervous, just the fear of the unknown I guess. Whatever, it's gonna work out. God's favor is gonna work it out.

Just saying...one place that I looked at today was a brownstone and the man that owns it lives in Ga....I thought that was neat, and his daughter lived downstairs. Must be nice.

I'll keep you updated on my search, today's studios were really small...I just didn't get the feeling that I wanted to stay there. I feel like when I walk in I'll know that it's my home.